Designer: NAT
Coding: Manikka
Images: x

I am 19 yrs 44 days old..stepping into another stage of live..or shud i said stepped..i really wondering, wad are the ppl of my age worrying and thinking abt...and do i think the same as they do, or am i thinking too far and too much...sometimes really make me ponder..are they really wrong when they are behaving tat way..or izit juz me tat behave differently.. is juz like when u r a 5 yrs old kid. u watch cartoon and play with toys, hide and seek etc..and when u turn a teenager, ppl will say the times are childhood. when u dun understand or dun even remember watching the particular cartoon durin ur times, ppl will say, "u no childhood leh"..so now, wad shud a young adult at my age be thinkin and behaving? ha..

so are ppl at my age lookin for a sense of belonging? somethings tat give them pride?

when Im young..the urge is not as strong as now..but..now, at this point of time, it seems to be quite close to it..so close yet so far..this kind of feeling is worse...i have nothing now at all..totally nothing...in terms of fun, i do not have as much fun as compared to some of my frens..in terms of academics..dun even need to mention abt it..skills?is oso a no..a ideal gf? oso no...wad else do i achieve so far? i oso dunno...seems like nth.all the things i want in life i dun seem to have achieve any...did i live for nth for this 19 yrs? it seems to be...

have frens who played like mad..didnt do well for studies..but still manage to get to poly...now doin something he like..and results in sch is gd...enjoyed his time when he is a teenager and is still enjoyin now..having no worries..just play and play..passing his days juz like tat..stress free...work durin holidays, pick up skills..has a caring and understandin gf always by his side..he has all tat..and the thing is tat they juz live with their days with no worries, dun really bothered by all those things, and those things juz fly to them....

somtimes, the more u want it..u juz wont get in ur way..when u dun bother abt it..dun place much impt to it, it seems to appear in ur sight..but y? when u value it more, u only see it fly away with ur own eyes..

If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.

had a really long weekend..but time flies..especially when u are enjoying..without u realising it.three and a half day had already passed..

goin to a new unit tml..in a state of anxiety and uncertainty..waitin for next book out?ha

Really wonder, y did the same thing happen again for the second time..is tat a lie? or izit something she cant even tell and she juz go against her words? haiz..i really got nth to say..but i guess it juz not meant to be..but is alright..coz i am oso not very sure of myself...is something i really dunno wad to say..waiting for the right one to fill the place...izit soon?or izit never ever?ha..

Readin Man & Boy..is really a very gd book..Im still reading it now..but i can say is gd...i really feel wad the father in the story is feeling..and i feel worse than him..feel sad for the poor little 5 yrs old boy..who is the victim of the problems between their parents..hopin i can meet some1 who has the same thinkin as the boy's mother..and make her be the some1 to fill up the place..and i am gna make sure the story of this book could nvr be written. Coz i can promise wad the man promised and damn sure i will nvr brk the promise...but too bad..i cant meet the some1...

NTU called me for an interview this comin weekend..hope i can get a place there..

Congrats Wei Shan..getting into NUS..haha..


tough times don't last..tough men do..

Quite a long time since i actually blog..is not tat i have nth to blog abt..is juz tat i have no time..last wk book out on sat 2200hrs..and have to book in on sun 2000hrs..dun really have time to blog..

on last wk book out..went out with my god bro and 1 of his ex colleague..she drove a MINI COOPER...i get to ride a mini..but too bad i have yet to drive..if i have passed my tp on 17th march..guess i wud have drive the mini instead of being a passenger...only 2 words..thumbs up..the interior is damn nice especially at nite.the cornering is oso very gd...u wont feel it..and can turn at a relatively higher speed compare to other sedan..is damn nice.i definitely gna own it one day in my life...is a muz..though for the price, ppl will buy a bmw 3 series, to me, a mini is better...

talk abt my vocation...but i cant say much..basically im in explosive ordnance disposal unit..36SCE..

the big thing is tat today is awards and promo..unit finally got a silver for eua...glad for them..on the other hand, im worried too..worried for this batch of sec3s...quite problematic...but i will definitely do my best to help them...

In a state of anxiety..unsure of my uni posting..thinkin of how to cope financially when i study my uni..sch fees and my allowance...i guess i wud have to work...even think of being a regular...wondering wad i really gna pursue in..wad am i gna do..in my unit now..i saw alot of the regulars are drivin all mod cars..it really tempts me..envy is the word...when can i own one..from wad i can see now..i think it will be a long long way to go..so many things on me..how can i afford one..