Sunday, April 30, 2006
I am 19 yrs 44 days old..stepping into another stage of live..or shud i said stepped..i really wondering, wad are the ppl of my age worrying and thinking abt...and do i think the same as they do, or am i thinking too far and too much...sometimes really make me ponder..are they really wrong when they are behaving tat way..or izit juz me tat behave differently.. is juz like when u r a 5 yrs old kid. u watch cartoon and play with toys, hide and seek etc..and when u turn a teenager, ppl will say the times are childhood. when u dun understand or dun even remember watching the particular cartoon durin ur times, ppl will say, "u no childhood leh"..so now, wad shud a young adult at my age be thinkin and behaving? ha..so are ppl at my age lookin for a sense of belonging? somethings tat give them pride?
when Im young..the urge is not as strong as now..but..now, at this point of time, it seems to be quite close to it..so close yet so far..this kind of feeling is worse...i have nothing now at all..totally nothing...in terms of fun, i do not have as much fun as compared to some of my frens..in terms of academics..dun even need to mention abt it..skills?is oso a no..a ideal gf? oso no...wad else do i achieve so far? i oso dunno...seems like nth.all the things i want in life i dun seem to have achieve any...did i live for nth for this 19 yrs? it seems to be...
have frens who played like mad..didnt do well for studies..but still manage to get to poly...now doin something he like..and results in sch is gd...enjoyed his time when he is a teenager and is still enjoyin now..having no worries..just play and play..passing his days juz like tat..stress free...work durin holidays, pick up skills..has a caring and understandin gf always by his side..he has all tat..and the thing is tat they juz live with their days with no worries, dun really bothered by all those things, and those things juz fly to them....
somtimes, the more u want it..u juz wont get in ur way..when u dun bother abt it..dun place much impt to it, it seems to appear in ur sight..but y? when u value it more, u only see it fly away with ur own eyes..
If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.